Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
