it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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