Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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