Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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