i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
