Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
