Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
