mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I wish there were birth control emojis
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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