9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
