i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
