My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
