I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
