just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
