Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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