K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
mondays should just be called national damage control day
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
