No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
