Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
