why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
