We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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