using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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