Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
