Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
