nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
