Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Drunk is not a location!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
