new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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