Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
