he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
