Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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