You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
