Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
