I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
