He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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