Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
