I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i barfeds in our rink
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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