I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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