I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
