Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
