So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
well you can't waste a boner
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
