He had one of those small greek statue penises
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
