I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
