I'm lost and stupid without you.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
