If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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