1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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