I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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