I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize