It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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