You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
