she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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