The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize