Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
