is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm lost and stupid without you.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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