Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
