I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
