Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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