i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
