I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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