I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
