We tried having a conversation with our noses.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
