Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
