Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
