sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
