I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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