It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
zippers are such a cool invention
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
