Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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